When it comes to co-parenting, Hoda Kotb and her ex-fiancé Joel Schiffman are rewriting the rules. Their focus? Ensuring that their daughters, Haley and Hope, grow up in a happy, supportive environment. An insider exclusively tells Closer that this unique partnership “is different than most couples.”
“Listen, Hoda and Joel never walked down the aisle, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have a mature, respectful relationship,” the source adds. “There’s no fighting or bad blood between them. Hoda is hands-on as a parent, and Joel plays a different role—and that works for them. They’re both incredible people who’ve found a balance that suits their family.”
From Engagement to Amicable Split
In January 2022, Hoda Kotb, then 60, made headlines when she announced her breakup with Joel Schiffman, who was 66 at the time, during an episode of Today. The couple had been together for eight years and engaged since 2019. Together, they welcomed Haley, now 7, and Hope, now 5, into their lives through adoption in 2017 and 2019, respectively.
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During the announcement, Hoda explained their decision with grace and honesty. “Joel and I have spent a lot of time reflecting over the holidays, and after many prayerful and meaningful conversations, we’ve decided that we’re better as friends and parents than as an engaged couple,” she shared. “We’re starting this new year on a fresh path, committed to being loving parents to our delightful children and great friends to each other.”
Understanding the Decision
Fast forward a few years, and Hoda opened up about the real reasons behind their decision to part ways. In an August episode of The Jamie Kern Lima Show, she offered some insight into their thought process.
“Joel is one of the best people I’ve ever met. He’s truly a great human being,” Hoda said. “And I like to think I’m a pretty great human being too, but sometimes, even two great people can’t make everything work. It’s not about lack of effort or love—it’s about growing at different paces.”
Hoda went on to explain that while she and Joel were deeply connected, they found themselves moving in slightly different directions. “You know, life throws curveballs, and people evolve. Sometimes you’re just not in sync anymore,” she added. Despite the challenges, Hoda remains grateful for their shared journey and the beautiful family they’ve built together.
Hoda reflected on how common such situations are. “So many people find themselves in relationships where one person is growing faster or wanting something different than the other,” she said. “It’s part of life, and it’s okay to acknowledge that and move forward in a way that feels right for everyone involved.”
A Holiday Tradition Continues
Despite the split, things remain amicable between Hoda and Joel. In fact, Joel joined the family to celebrate Christmas in Hoda’s new suburban home in 2024. Hoda even hung a stocking with Joel’s name above the fireplace as part of her festive decor.
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She spoke about the joy of hosting Christmas in their new home during a recent episode of Today. “This is our first Christmas in our new house, and I couldn’t be more excited,” Hoda said. “There’s something special about knowing that the stockings we hang this year will become a tradition for years to come. We’ve already decided where the tree will go—it’s going to stay there forever. It’s cozy, intimate, and perfect for our little family.”
Hoda’s Christmas celebrations include her daughters, her mom, her sister, and of course, Joel. “It’s not about having a big, elaborate party—it’s about creating meaningful moments with the people you love,” she explained. “That’s what makes it so special.”
